Since a fancy dress isn't in my budget I have to work it in some other way. Sure it's not important but it's fun and how often do you get to wear crazy shit on your head. I was looking for a bohemian headband to wear with my bardot hair and I found "the one" and then "the other one" and then this one and this! I just can't decide so I might have to get two and call it a day.

So this past weekend I went up to LA to meet with the cutest couple ever about their wedding cupcakes. My fiance had a rehearsal that evening for a web show he is writing and in between we decided to stop by Shareen Vintage to see if I could finally decide on a dress. I had read about Shareen on Utterly Engaged and was blown away by the racks and racks of dresses. Well, someone must have had a really good time in photoshop because the place is not as bright and cheery as those photos might make it seem. It's actually a giant warehouse with concrete walls and floors. It is dark and the coldest place I have ever step foot in. Yes, there were racks and racks of dresses but they save all the good stuff* in the back (roped off) for designers and stylists. Boys really aren't allowed (poor fiance) because you change out in the open. I'm not the most modest girl so this is fine with me but it might be a shock to someone who is and, did I mention, the place is FREEZING. Finally, after about 30 minutes of being there, one of the many employees asked me if I needed any help. When she realized I was a bride she whisked me away into the back where they had more high end wedding dresses and got me a blanket to stand on (my cold toesies were pleased). This was very sweet and the wedding dresses in the back were way better than anything out front. Still, the dresses weren't in the best condition (a lot of holes, stains). She then promptly forgot about me and another employee came in and chided me for being back there. Needless to say, I walked away empty-handed with a case of the sniffles.

*There are some great finds for non-wedding dresses in the front, I must say. A few of the girls there were looking for Grammy dresses. And the prices start anywhere from under $100 to $400 (I didn't see much priced higher than that).

My friend, Cori, is nice enough to share her amazing DIY, vintage, gorgeous, most cursing beautiful blue dress wedding you have ever seen in your life with us soon (a certain big wig site is probably going to snatch it up first but I'm going to try to beat them to the punch.) I just wanted to share this little glimpse of the romantic, sweet love she and her husband share with this post from her blog. As part of their wedding ceremony, they placed love letters, wine and two glasses into a crate to be opened if their relationship ever finds itself in rough waters. Now living abroad in an adorable petite flat they decided to write a new set of letters and send them into the Seine on a recent trip to Paris. How romantic is that! I can't even stand it.

OK. OK. Here is just a little peek at this blue-eyed beauty!

{via brooklyn bride}

{rock 'n roll bride}

This is a kickass wedding party. I need a sparkly jacket in my life.

Is it too late to change my inspiration board? This is pretty close already. But feathers AND a sail boat?? Boho nautical, hello.

{ from the bride's blog}

Not only was there great looking cake and fashion but this wedding had some lovely, cheeky invites too. New favorite phrase? "Up the duff." The fun didn't stop there. Here is their order of service.

The Groom's Side

It can be, at times, a challenge getting my man as involved in the wedding planning as I am. And I GET it. Flowers and font and little pieces of fabric aren't as much his things as they are mine and that's OK. So I try to suggest things he might be into like the music and booze. That usually works for the first 5 minutes after I suggest it and then it vanishes completely out of his mind it until I ask how it's going two or three weeks later.

A Los Angeles Love's mister wrote a thoughtful and interesting post today (I love that he chimes in every once and awhile). Even if we weren't planning every last detail of our "dream wedding" as girls we certainly were, sometimes not so subtly, being brainwashed into thinking that we were going to have to think about it at some point. We were going to be the one who got to be a "princess for a day" and, with out mother and mother-in-law, made the bulk of the decision-making. The groom just had to show up and say "I do." Thank goodness for guys like Jason who want to redefine what it means to be a groom so it fits their personalities and interests. Guys who want to be an active part of this important part of this relationship. Perhaps hearing about the planning process from another guy's perspective, instead of me just emailing posts that he can't relate to, will help my groom get more excited about the process and be more involved.

Here are some good groom resources I have found:

Jason's posts on A Los Angeles Love

A Broke-Ass Bride's Hubby

Temple of Groom (recommended by Jason)

Groomasaurus

Do you recommend any groom-y wedding blogs?

{source}

I despise chair covers. I suppose there is a time and place for them but not on my watch. A well-dressed chair, however, is another story! Maybe just for the bride & groom?

This is what all that planning is for

{jose villa}

65 years of marriage and as adorable as ever.

Last night I came across a statement that went a little like this "Congratulations on your engagement! You're about to embark on an AMAZING adventure planning the wedding of your DREAMS!"*.

Can we just take a moment to talk about what BS this is. Last week Meg talked about not loving your wedding. I haven't reached that part of this "adventure" but I will come right out and say that I have not loved all of planning my wedding. It has not been all sparkles and rainbows. Actually, I have spent the majority of the last year wishing I could call it quits. I don't want to call quits on my relationship. No, no, I REALLY want to marry this guy. And sometimes, like when I look over at him and realize that only nine years ago I was telling people that he was the one that got away and now I get to marry him, I even really like the planning part. But most of the time I want to run over to the town hall and secretly elope.

And I actually really like planning weddings...for other people. It's not the color scheme or the table linens or the signature drink choices that are getting me down. It's the ridiculous expenses involved and the expectations from families and friends and even strangers and of course the fear-inducing thoughts about actually making a life-long commitment work.

Perhaps it's because the wedding wasn't my cup of tea in the first place. I wanted to go to Vegas and he wanted the big party. Yet I'm the one who is doing most of the leg work and is up all night worrying about how much vodka one needs to buy for 100 people (I ate too much chocolate before bed....again). Maybe people who dream about their wedding all their lives have more fun during this time. I still would never want to give anyone who is newly engaged the false impression that it's just going to be heavenly cake tastings and blissful trips to bridal boutiques where you, your mother and your mother-in-law are in complete harmony. No, it's compromise and stressful budget calculations and, OK, some cake and sparkles.

So for what it's worth here are things I wish I had known before the 5 1/2 month mark -

1. Don't.do.anything.

Those checklist and time lines on The Knot and Martha? Complete crap. Most likely you won't need to do half the things they tell you to do and the other half you won't even need to think about until you hit about 6 months (at least). Take some time and talk to your partner about your wedding day ideas and expectations and make lists or collages or whatever organizational thing you do. Don't make any major decisions until later on in the game.

2. Which brings me to point #2. Don't blow all your money on EBay (or wherever) because you will change your mind. Unless you are really good at living under a rock you will probably (especially if you're already reading this) look at a sh*t ton of blogs. You will like many different things and something you like during week one will evolve to something totally different in week 24. There will be other milk glass vases. Trust me. It will just be a waste of money.

3. Talk talk talk. To your partner and your family IN THE BEGINNING about who will take care of what (both financially and physically). This will prevent uncomfortable conversations, stress and heartache farther down the road.

That's it for now.

I think I'm actually going to quite enjoy my wedding. Because at this point I'm over the little details and spending money on sh*t no one is even going to notice. Oh, and that bottle of champagne that I will have glued to my hand all day is going to help a little.

*not a direct quote but you get the idea

There was a bit of a blow up this morning regarding a real wedding with a very slender bride featured on a popular blog . I understand that there has been a call out there recently for more diverse weddings in the blogosphere but that should not give any of us permission to bash on the physical appearance of a bride, her wedding or lifestyle choices. Imagine if you shared your wedding with a blog and the majority of the 34 comments were snarky and insensitive remarks about the way you look? How hurt would you be?

On the other hand, I spent a good deal of time going through the real wedding category on this website and was unimpressed with what I found. Though there were claims of posting a variety of weddings and wedding parties, and I'm not saying that they did anything intentionally, there was not much of a range when it came to the people showcased in the weddings. So perhaps, instead of bashing the poor bride (or groom), we could all do a little more to help the situation by asking (nicely) for more of an assortment of weddings and asking our photographers to send in more diverse weddings and posting more variety on our own blogs. Sure, it's fun to look at pretty people but we can look in Vogue for that. Here I think most of us just want to see more people to whom we can relate.

Have you seen this wedding? Gah!

First of all that magnificent dessert creation. Truffles on cake on cake on cake.

And what does the groom wear if you wear a short dress? Short pants, of course!

Sarah & Rupert Wedding 16mm Film from sarahandrupert on Vimeo.

I don't know about you but I kind of want my DIY wedding to look a little...ya know...DIY. OH and it will, I'm sure.

Still props to this girl for having the skills to put Martha to shame. Also, I luff this video. My friends dance like that too...but with more leg humping and booty shaking.

This dress is cursing gorgeous. Someone please rock it now. It's only $124.

Marshmallow Table

This table {from MS} looks like a fluffy marshmallow. I just want to eat it. And I like tulle pom poms WAY better than paper. Also, they look easy to make.

To Each Her Own

Love.

ANOTHER wedding party rocking personal style. I love it! I will be stealing the idea of personally-styled bouquets. Especially since we'll be farm hopping and making our own.

Make Up S/S 10

Though you wouldn't know it by my bank account I'm actually a pretty thrifty spender when it comes to my beauty regimen. I'm more sale loyal than brand loyal and I don't buy anything extra beyond what I need to look halfway presentable in public. So when I go into Sephora soon to get my wedding makeup supplies I'm going to need all the help I can get. I thought the best place to go to for advice would be a person who sees the dos and don'ts of makeup on a regular basis. So I sent one of my photographers - Davina (of Davina + Daniel) an email asking for some tips. Being the angel and goddess that she is, she responded with this gloriously helpful email. Here it is (all the pictures are my choices not hers via here):

"Alright, so I'm no makeup artist, but as I do photograph brides quite regularly, I think my 2 cents might be worth, well, about 2 cents... but that's better than nothing!

In a nutshell, I think makeup that photographs well is makeup that looks good to the naked eye, and then some. What might look a little much in person will actually photograph really well because the camera doesn't pick up as much as the eye does.
So an even complexion is a must, but easy on the blush! With all the emotions of the wedding day, I think most brides don't need blush at all as the natural rosy cheeks will inevitably peek through. Oh and brides need not worry about unexpected blemishes on their wedding day. They should do their best to cover them up, but your photographer (in your case, me!) should make the extra effort to remove them in post-production. If it's something you're worried about, just mention it to your photographer. I've done this for both brides and grooms and I'm sure that today their memories don't include the stress they felt about breaking out! Their photos show no sign of it so it becomes forgotten!

Another must is a well lined eye. This makes eyes pop which will, in turn, photograph really well. I swear by the eyeliner; it really does work wonders in emphasizing the eye. I'd also recommend highlighter, that's a white shimmer powder or pencil, in the corner of the eyes and under the brow line. This reflects the light and makes the eye pop.
When it comes to shadow, I have to admit that I don't really know what I'm talking about. I'm still trying to figure out what color to use on myself! I'd never think purples would look good yet some of the nicest makeup I've seen on some brides featured some purple eye shadow. I think shadows really depend on ones skin tone, eye color, and features and the way you apply it is also tricky business. If you're doing your own makeup and would like to use shadow, definitely get an expert to guide you through the right shade and technique.

Finally, for lips, I think a little gloss can go a long way. Whether you go for a colored lip shade or something neutral, make sure your lips are always hydrated and/or glossy. This is something that photoshop can't fix!

By the way, I'm a sucker for a red lip, but I know this doesn't suit everyone. It's the vintage lover in me, I guess!"

Any other tips? And ideas on what this pale-faced girl should get at Sephora?

Way to Go, Martha

I was planning on posting about the rad table design in this wedding from Martha Stewart but when I read that some people who were so offended by it that they felt the need to take the time out of their day to actually write to the magazine to express their disapproval I thought I should also acknowledge the significance of this particular wedding. I am thrilled about the first same-sex wedding in Martha so maybe I should write a letter to show my approval and my hope that there will be nothing but more diversity in issues to come. At least to counterbalance the folks who are obviously all in a tizzy about it. Now about those tables...

Our Save-the-Dates

I told you Jamie could take better pictures than me! Not only that but she is an amazing designer and we are beyond thrilled with our invitation suite. This is just a little hint of what the invitation will be like and it's so dern cute.

I couldn't decide which photo I liked best so here is a bunch.

Inside the envelope is a copy of the poem that was read to me at the super secret engagement ceremony.

Hummingbird

by Raymond Carver

Suppose I say summer,
write the word "hummingbird",
put it in an envelope,
take it down the hill
to the box. When you open
my letter you will recall
those days and how much,
just how much, I love you.

There is a pretty version of the poem here.

{all photos and design by Jamie}

F the WIC

{via}

So I went into a mini-rage this morning after getting an email back from a transportation company I had contacted. I wanted to see what options were out there in terms of transportation from the hotel to my parents' house so that folks don't have to worry about drinking too many cocktails and driving. After Erin & Chuck's wedding I was really into the whole school bus idea and didn't think it would be too expensive. Until I got this email telling me that the "wedding package" was several hundred dollars. I wrote back politely asking if there was any other option besides the "wedding package" since I wouldn't need the bus for as long as the package included anyway. Apparently, this company would rather make no money than some money and wouldn't give me any other options just because I was stupid enough to mention that it was for a wedding. If I had said it was for a reunion or any other event then I could have negotiated a deal. But stick the word wedding into a conversation with a vendor and the bottom line all of a sudden hits the roof. So.f*ing.ridiculous. Grrrrrr! I'll learn to keep my mouth shut from now on. Have you experienced any vendors jacking up there prices?

Goin' to the...

I want to elope here!

{via}

PS: The photographer told me it was taken in eastern PA.

<3 Garlands

I had garlands on my mind this morning as I start planning the "great garland adventure" that I am going to embark on shortly and these heart garlands just made mine flutter.

{also, I would really like to see the rest of that wedding please.}

I'm sending my congrats to Mr. Jacobs even if the wedding wasn't real.

Wedding-Planning Resolutions

Via Eco Chic Weddings

"1. Getting married, or planning your wedding, does not mean you leave your brain at the door.

2. The only thing you "must do" to get married is get your marriage license and say "I Do."

3. Give yourself some respect, demand respect, and don't allow yourself to be belittled because you don't know which side of the plate the fork is supposed to go on.

4. You may not be a wedding expert, but you are a "YOU" expert.

5.Pick your battles--when it's easy to make someone happy, go for it, ie: Your husband-to-be does not want to (fill in the blank), give in if it's an easy one, that way you won't have to dig-in your heels so much to get what you want. It also feels really good when you can make another person happy. Even better than when you make yourself happy."

Loup Charmant

This organic cotton scalloped dress would be ideal for an outdoor spring or summer garden party or wedding with a bunch of wildflowers, no?

Like so?

Another Long Post

I touched on this the other day but I wanted to bring it up again. At the six month countdown mark, I am less and less interested in visualizing how the wedding is going to look and more interested in how my marriage is going to be. The wedding is one big, honking fun day that I'm super excited to experience but the marriage is the whole point, right?

It's funny that before I was engaged, and even in the first few months of engagement, I never really thought about what marriage might be or what marriage meant to me. I honestly didn't think that marriage would change our relationship at all after being and living together for almost five years. I'm starting to think, however, that I could be wrong. Recently, things seem to pop up that make me realize, ah yes, this is what I think I might want marriage to be like. And some of these realizations have surprised me and rocked some ideas I had about myself.

I find that a lot of my ideas about marriage stem, not surprisingly at all, from my parents. My parents celebrated their 32nd anniversary last year and their marriage has always been an inspiration to me by proving that love, though not always easy, is possible and can endure. There is a certain dynamic in their relationship, however, that I find myself thinking about but that is a deep contrast, it appears, to what I had always expressed. Like my mother, I consider myself an advocate of equality between the sexes and can sometimes preach feminist notions or at least preach against sexist cliches. That is why it is shocking to look at their relationship now from a soon-to-be-married person and realize how traditional it really is. The responsibilities that each parent took on sometimes resembled traditional roles. Though both worked full-time

jobs, my mother cooked, cleaned, took (most of the) care of the kids and my father paid the bills, played handyman and fixed the cars.

Now I am certainly a hardcore supporter of shared household responsibilities but sometimes I expect my husband-to-be to take on a job that I am certainly capable of doing myself. Because, why, my father did it in our house? Or because part of me wants to feel taken care of? This is a very strange and very new feeling that I am having and I'm not sure I'm a fan of it. I always thought I was a "hear me roar, I can take care of it myself, grrl power" kind of chick so wanting a husband that wants to sometimes take care of me surprised me AND him.

It has sparked conversations (and this is the whole point, folks) about what we think marriage means and what aspects are important to each us. I am very wary not to put the words "what marriage SHOULD BE" or "SHOULD NOT BE" in this post because I don't believe it SHOULD BE anything. That is determined by each couple and is based upon their own beliefs and values. What I desire and believe certainly might not work for anyone else and, unless someone is manipulative or causing pain to their significant other, a couple's marriage can never really be wrong if it is working for them.

All and all, I think it's OK that there is a glimmer of something that might resemble tradition in our relationship. We certainly live alternatively in most of the other areas of our lives to make up for it.

Have you thought about what you want not just your wedding but your marriage to be like? Have any of these feelings surprised you?

{precious moments photographed by Steep Street}

Stripes & Sparkles

From the dress & bowtie

to the escort board & table runners

I love these stripes!

And the hottest wedding party. Wish I had told my friends just to go on with their stylish selves. Ah well.

via once wed & green wedding shoes

Gee....

that's sweet*. Waaaay at the bottom of the 100 Wedding Blogs of 2010 is this little blog. I wasn't even sure people read it anymore! So nice to be in the company of friends and new (to me) blogs. Like I didn't have enough wedding sh*t in my google reader already!

*Though, you are right, your blog, my blog, any blog is not in a competition.

One Year Gone & Half to Go

{source}

I started ranting and raving on this blog over a year ago. It's kind of overwhelming to think about all the changes that have taken place {some because of this blog and A&I} since then. Baking, meeting new friends, trying to stay sane while planning this shindig. Thanks for coming along on the ride so far & I'm sorry I haven't been as consistent in the past couple of months. Turns out there is a point where you don't get as much of a thrill from wedding porn anymore. I'm more interested in the how and the why now than pretty pretties. I'll try to sneak some here & there though to keep the magic alive. So with six months to go here are some of my favorite pretties from the end of 2009:

Labor of Love

Wedding Whims

Duet Letterpress

You Are My Fav

lovely pretty cheery things

C is for Charmed

Oh So Beautiful Paper

Martha Stewart

hello lucky

pia jane bijkerk

For way more pictures check out my tumblr.