It is true that the wedding planning process brings out the worst and best in people. Here is my little story about some of the worst:
Last week, Captain's father called us and asked us why the reception musicians cost $1000. Reception musicians? There are no receptions musicians. "No, no, no" we explained to him. My mother wanted to have ceremony/cocktail hour musicians so we agreed to that but we don't want reception musicians. We really want to just do an iPod. There must be some mistake with the cost. I know one hour for two musicians should not cost $1000. So I email my mother and ask her what was going on. "The cocktail hour musicians do not cost $1000." That was her only reply. No further explanation on how much they are or anything. So, OK, we let it go and didn't think about it again. Then today I call my mom and ask her about the cocktail hour musicians and when they are expecting to play, etc. "Which musicians?", she asks. "Um, the only musicians that are supposed to be there, right?" "Oh, well didn't your father talk to you about that?" Um, no. Well, turns out that she went behind our backs and booked this reception band which we explicitly stated that we did not want and then lied to me about it when I originally asked in the email then expected Captain's family to pay half the cost without even asking them about it. She also refuses to talk to me about or tell me, oh I don't know, what kind of music they play, when they play it, etc. Just flat out won't speak to me about it. She just tells me that if we are asking people to travel and get hotels then we should be doing something nice for them. The truth is she is having some sort of wedding pissing contest with the neighbors and has turned my intimate, backyard, non-WIC-y wedding into a show.
Now don't get me wrong. We are beyond grateful that both sets of parents are contributing as much as they are and are doing so much for us. If my parents had called us and said "ya know, we really want to have this band and let's compromise and they'll play during dinner and maybe a little after and then you can play Bon Jovi to your hearts desire" then we probably would have been fine with it. But the fact that they never told us anything about it, lied to me when I did find out about it, are still keeping us in the dark and expecting his parents to pay half is ludicrous. It is deceitful and rude. And, of course, my relationship with my parents has never been smooth n' easy. I can't seem to talk to them about anything that isn't hunky dory happy without one of us or all of us screaming and hanging up the phone.
It has boiled my blood so much so that I'm ready to just tell our friends to meet us in NY and spend the money staying at the Ace and dance all night long.
And I had just reached my Zen moment too.