Monday, March 15, 2010

The Ceremony Search Part I

Our dear friend and officiant is so much more on top of it than we are. He calls us asking for updates on the ceremony and we have yet to sit down and really discuss what we want to do. I've had the first draft of my vows written, or at least thought, out since day one and they are pretty close to being complete I think. We have NO idea how we want the rest of the ceremony to run though (short hopefully). So I've been doing some searches and maybe when we both have time we can go through and see what we like best. Indie Kvetch has a pretty extensive list of real vows - traditional, non-traditional, religious, pretty much whatever you need. I have seen a few ceremony samples that follow a multiple "I do" format. I kind of like the idea of saying "I do" to a set of personalized questions rather than the traditional "in sickness and in health" spiel. Here is an example:

Malina: Megan and Bob are excited today not only because they can share their love for each other, but also because they have the opportunity to express their aspirations for the future. Megan and Bob, do you promise to help each other to grow, cultivating compassion, generosity, and patience, continuously challenging each other to become better people?

Megan and Bob: We do.

Malina: Do you promise to seek to understand yourselves, and each other, to examine your own minds continually and to regard all life with curiosity and joy?

Megan and Bob: We do.

Malina: Do you promise day to day, to be patient with yourselves and others, knowing that change comes slowly and gradually, and to seek inspiration not to become discouraged?

Megan and Bob: We do.

Malina: Do you promise to remain optimistic that you can achieve your dreams both together and independently? Do you promise to help each other achieve your goals and hold each others’ hands through successes and failures?

Megan and Bob: We do.

Malina: Do you promise to always laugh, make each other smile and never take life too seriously? Do you promise to see your life together as the adventure that it is, full of challenges and new experiences, delicious food and great friends?

Megan and Bob: We do.

Malina: I now invite Bob and Meg to exchange rings.

Him: Take this ring as a reminder of all my promises and a choice, made every day, to be in love.

Me: Take this ring as a reminder of all my promises and a choice, made every day, to be in love.

Malina: No one but you can declare yourselves married, despite the rights my online ordination by the Church of Universal Life may confer. You started your lives together 3 years ago and start the rest of them today.
Begin this crazy thing called marriage then, with a kiss.

BUT, as non-traditional as I can be sometimes, I really like the idea of repeating words that many other married couples have repeated before us. I think it sounds sort of sweet.

3 comments:

Cupcake Wedding said...

oh ceremonies, how I love thee

A Los Angeles Love said...

I think I understand what you mean by wanting that connection, via the vows themselves, to words our parents and families have said before us. I really want a personal ceremony, but I'm torn on the vows themselves. I think we're leaning towards more traditional (yet egalitarian, of course) vows. We may add a vow or two, but we're getting more an more sentimental about "tradition." It's been surprising.

Adventures Along The Way said...

You could do some "we do's" for the personal things that are important to you and then follow with the traditional vows you connect with....

We had standard legal Qu├ębec vows, and then also wrote our own personal vows that were a mix of traditional ideas and non-traditional wording.