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So I'm not happy. McG and I have a plan to move back east next fall. We had picked a city and a cute, up-coming, hip, artsy section of said city to live in. I was SO excited to really start our life there and be close to both our families and our friends. Today I found out that his ex lives in the same city. In the same section of town. And this is not any ex. This is THE EX. The one he started dating right after we broke up the first time. The one he dated for THREE years and I had to watch him with every day in college and it broke my heart. Yeah, that one. My nemesis. I hate her. The thought of bumping into her on the street brings out two reactions in me: Reaction #1 "I won, bitch" and #2 "Oh my god. What if he sees her again after all these years and leaves me?" Am I crazy (ok, a little)? McG says that "our past has nothing to do with us now" and "we have good and wonderful and exciting things" in our future. But still I'm worried...should I be?
{photo by мандй}
9 comments:
No you shouldn't be worried... thought#1 is what should rule... YOU WON! Not that he's some game to win or something, but he is marrying YOU not her. He loves YOU not her. And albeit a past that he may have shared with her, you are his present and he's planning his future around YOU!
(i totally understand it, my FH's X throughout HS is now dating his BFF... but past is past and i'm actually friends with her now... but it does catch up w/me at times b/c he has a past with her that I am not a part of... but i remind myself... past is past!!!)
Good luck! :)
Here's my catty side: Let her see you and him and weap! You have him now, not her!
I moved to Denver to be with then boyfriend MD, now my hubby. Same situation--he had been with my nemisis for four years. She still lives here...three years later, we haven't run into eachother. Bright side, at least your guy and his ex hadn't lived in said city together...
Don't sweat it-live your life for you. xoxo
that SUCKS!!
but i am going to say that it just doesn't matter. you love him and he loves you and then she just happens to be someone you hope not to run in to. i don't want to be a bitch, but you can't worry about this stuff because it will end up destroying your relationship. trust is by far the most important thing you can have for one and other and that includes trusting him to love you even if that little tart is living within blocks of your (what i am sure will be) fabulous home. i don't think you have to be nice to her though ... perhaps an tp'ing might be in order ... you know to make up for those three years ").
I would have some anxiety too. That's natural. But if you act unfazed by it, your man will be even more attracted to you because of your confidence. Also, just some advice: don't bring your past into your future. You are in love and on a great path - think about all of the wonderful things that await you and live in the moment of today :)
In the last house we lived in, J's ex moved into the condo directly behind ours... where you could see right into our living room, watch us play with the dogs out back, everything. I didn't know until a friend of his mentioned that she had told him she "sees J & Abbie all the time". ACK! I freaked! My immediate thought was, "We're moving!" And, 6 months later, we did. I just couldn't take it. Plus, she kept bumping into me at the gym and making it painfully awkward. She'd ask his friends all kinds of questions about us, too. So, I was on edge for a while.
Oh god I totally feel your anxiety about this. My hubby's ex still makes "random" visits to his parents office to just chat :( lame. Its effing annoying but just try and be the bigger person about it. He loves you :)I bought this book which made me giggle - its called "Was she Pretty" super simple statements (poetry like) about ex's... :) I felt less crazy reading it!
I love you guys. Thank you so much for making me feel like I'm not a crazy person. I freaked out for a nano-second and then he said "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" and it was all better. Yeah it will suck if we bump into each other but I trust him and I trust us.
CEVD - You are right. I can't dwell on things like this because it will come between us. I'm letting it go now and I'm just going to be present with my man from now on.
Abbie and Ashley - that is CRAZY! Those girls gots some issues! But I'm glad everything worked out for you guys.
xoxo
What you need to hear to carry on with what will most definitely be a wonderful life with your man: No, you shouldn't be worried (remember, you won :) )
What you don't need to hear: I myself would be worried, but only because I am crazy too :)
End of the story: Don't let her ruin the pretty plans you thought up about your life together. He chose you to spend the rest of his life with after all.
If you are in love and commited to each other, I wouldn't worry. They broke up for a reason and hes with you.
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