Veiled Vows

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I'm sending my congrats to Mr. Jacobs even if the wedding wasn't real.

Wedding-Planning Resolutions

"1. Getting married, or planning your wedding, does not mean you leave your brain at the door.

2. The only thing you "must do" to get married is get your marriage license and say "I Do."

3. Give yourself some respect, demand respect, and don't allow yourself to be belittled because you don't know which side of the plate the fork is supposed to go on.

4. You may not be a wedding expert, but you are a "YOU" expert.

5.Pick your battles--when it's easy to make someone happy, go for it, ie: Your husband-to-be does not want to (fill in the blank), give in if it's an easy one, that way you won't have to dig-in your heels so much to get what you want. It also feels really good when you can make another person happy. Even better than when you make yourself happy."

Monday, January 4, 2010

Loup Charmant

This organic cotton scalloped dress would be ideal for an outdoor spring or summer garden party or wedding with a bunch of wildflowers, no?

Like so?

Another Long Post

I touched on this the other day but I wanted to bring it up again. At the six month countdown mark, I am less and less interested in visualizing how the wedding is going to look and more interested in how my marriage is going to be. The wedding is one big, honking fun day that I'm super excited to experience but the marriage is the whole point, right?

It's funny that before I was engaged, and even in the first few months of engagement, I never really thought about what marriage might be or what marriage meant to me. I honestly didn't think that marriage would change our relationship at all after being and living together for almost five years. I'm starting to think, however, that I could be wrong. Recently, things seem to pop up that make me realize, ah yes, this is what I think I might want marriage to be like. And some of these realizations have surprised me and rocked some ideas I had about myself.

I find that a lot of my ideas about marriage stem, not surprisingly at all, from my parents. My parents celebrated their 32nd anniversary last year and their marriage has always been an inspiration to me by proving that love, though not always easy, is possible and can endure. There is a certain dynamic in their relationship, however, that I find myself thinking about but that is a deep contrast, it appears, to what I had always expressed. Like my mother, I consider myself an advocate of equality between the sexes and can sometimes preach feminist notions or at least preach against sexist cliches. That is why it is shocking to look at their relationship now from a soon-to-be-married person and realize how traditional it really is. The responsibilities that each parent took on sometimes resembled traditional roles. Though both worked full-time

jobs, my mother cooked, cleaned, took (most of the) care of the kids and my father paid the bills, played handyman and fixed the cars.

Now I am certainly a hardcore supporter of shared household responsibilities but sometimes I expect my husband-to-be to take on a job that I am certainly capable of doing myself. Because, why, my father did it in our house? Or because part of me wants to feel taken care of? This is a very strange and very new feeling that I am having and I'm not sure I'm a fan of it. I always thought I was a "hear me roar, I can take care of it myself, grrl power" kind of chick so wanting a husband that wants to sometimes take care of me surprised me AND him.

It has sparked conversations (and this is the whole point, folks) about what we think marriage means and what aspects are important to each us. I am very wary not to put the words "what marriage SHOULD BE" or "SHOULD NOT BE" in this post because I don't believe it SHOULD BE anything. That is determined by each couple and is based upon their own beliefs and values. What I desire and believe certainly might not work for anyone else and, unless someone is manipulative or causing pain to their significant other, a couple's marriage can never really be wrong if it is working for them.

All and all, I think it's OK that there is a glimmer of something that might resemble tradition in our relationship. We certainly live alternatively in most of the other areas of our lives to make up for it.

Have you thought about what you want not just your wedding but your marriage to be like? Have any of these feelings surprised you?

{precious moments photographed by Steep Street}

Stripes & Sparkles

From the dress & bowtie

to the escort board & table runners

I love these stripes!

And the hottest wedding party. Wish I had told my friends just to go on with their stylish selves. Ah well.

via once wed & green wedding shoes

Gee....

that's sweet*. Waaaay at the bottom of the 100 Wedding Blogs of 2010 is this little blog. I wasn't even sure people read it anymore! So nice to be in the company of friends and new (to me) blogs. Like I didn't have enough wedding sh*t in my google reader already!

*Though, you are right, your blog, my blog, any blog is not in a competition.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

One Year Gone & Half to Go

{source}

I started ranting and raving on this blog over a year ago. It's kind of overwhelming to think about all the changes that have taken place {some because of this blog and A&I} since then. Baking, meeting new friends, trying to stay sane while planning this shindig. Thanks for coming along on the ride so far & I'm sorry I haven't been as consistent in the past couple of months. Turns out there is a point where you don't get as much of a thrill from wedding porn anymore. I'm more interested in the how and the why now than pretty pretties. I'll try to sneak some here & there though to keep the magic alive. So with six months to go here are some of my favorite pretties from the end of 2009: