Parades and Raids

I was searching a little more for processional alternatives and French wedding traditions to go along with the sixties, french, vintage, glam, picnic thing we've got goin' on. I found a lot of customs I like including this take on the procession -

"Still practiced in small villages today, it is a traditional French custom for the groom to call on his future bride at her home on the morning of their wedding. The groom escorts her to the wedding chapel in a procession, headed by musicians, followed behind by the bride with her father, guests and the groom with his mother at the end of line." (source)

Another fun tradition your wedding party might get a good laugh at? Late night wedding suite raids!

"Chiverie is the wedding night prank to interrupt the wedding couple at night by a crowd clanging pots and pans, righing bells and horns. The bride and groom were expected to appear in their wedding clothes and provide treats for their tormentors."

{image via here}

Concession to Procession?

The other day I talked about putting the cake cutting on the chopping block. Well, another tradition has fallen under the knife - the processional*. And this really has nothing to do with the history of this tradition. It has more to do with logistics.

But first, let's talk about the traditional reason for walking down the aisle. In most cases, the bride hides away from the groom and guests until the ceremony. The processional marks the grand entrance of the bridal party and bride. Some sources think that this goes back to a time of arranged marriage when families were afraid that if the groom didn't like the bride's face then he would call the whole thing off. So the bride was hidden under the veil until her father lifted it at the end of the aisle and "gave her away". There are other customs, of course, that have to do with various religious and cultural beliefs.

For better or for worse, my husband-to-be as seen my face pretty much every day for the past 4.5 years so he already knows what he's stuck with. And we have lived together, 3000 miles away from my mother and father, for 4 years so no one is really giving anyone away at this point. Plus I don't want to be holed up in a room while everyone is having a good time outside!

We're asking people to start showing up in the afternoon for lemonade and lawn games. This will hopefully give people a chance to relax and mingle. We'll most likely be taking pictures at this time but after that the wedding warriors, the groom and I will join the rest of the guests. Then we'll start the ceremony once everyone is ready. I just thought it would be weird to walk down the aisle even though I had been chilling with everyone for a half hour or so already.

I told my mother this the other night and I thought for sure my feminist mom, whose own wedding was completely non-traditional, would understand. She is under the impression, however, that you HAVE to have a processional. I'm pretty sure I don't HAVE to do anything except show up, say I do and sign a marriage license. These are the three key factors that will make me married. Cake, processional, bouquets are not necessary. I have yet to win this battle but I have not given up!

{image via steep street. I LOVE that the bride and groom were under the tree together as guests arrived. The bride yelled "Are we missing anybody?" before they began their vows!}

*Your personal beliefs and reasons for doing a processional or cutting a cake or anything else are totally valid and I am not trying to say that any choice is right or wrong. For me it just doesn't work with the schedule of the day.

Making the Cut

So I have slowly been nixing traditions. First it was the cake. I LOVE cake, don't get me wrong. And there will most certainly be cake upon cake upon cake. What I am referring to is the cake CUTTING. I was watching yet another wedding show one day and realized that I had no idea WHY people cut cake at a wedding. I realize it's a "tradition" but does any couple actually take the time to research the tradition or do they just do it because that's what people do at weddings. Well, I decided awhile back that I wouldn't do anything just because "people do that at weddings". Instead I would research traditions and see where they developed. If they matched with our beliefs and our personalities then they would make the cut. Cake cutting did not, needless to say, make the cut.

Here's what I found out:

"The wedding cake has been an important part of the wedding celebration since Roman times when a thin wheat cake, representing bounty, was crumbled over the bride's head to ensure her fertility." (weddingbasics)

"History tells us that breaking the bread symbolized the breaking of the bride's virginal state and the subsequent dominance of the groom over her." (Hudson Valley Weddings)

or another version:

"The cake-cutting practice was first created to symbolize the shift of the bride's responsibilities and obligation from one family to another. The bride would make slices and then feed these pieces to the groom's family, indicating that she now served them." (1weddingsource)

I am sure that this is not what most couples and their families think about during the cake cutting ceremony but I just wouldn't feel right including this tradition into the reception. I haven't had my (hem hem) v-card for quite some time now and I'm not big on the whole servitude thing! Plus, people will hopefully be too busy shakin' it on the dance floor that they won't care about watching me smear frosting all over my new husband's face.

UPDATE: I don't want to give anyone a complex about their own wedding tradition decisions. Just because it's not right for me doesn't mean that it isn't right for you. If the cake ceremony is important to you then you could even come up with a whole NEW reason for doing it and start a new tradition!

{cake image source}