We have been thinking about our ceremony recently. Out here in blogland we tend to get carried away with flowers and sparkles and tulle and feathers. But the ceremony and the promises that we make to our other is really the most important part of the day, correct?
In the beginning, we were all about the Quaker ceremony. My mother, on the other hand, was not a fan. She does not speak in public. And, honestly, neither do I. I break out in hives and usually black out half way through with no recollection of what was said or done. Why would I want to put other people through that? Did I really think people would be so overcome with joy and love for us that they would forget their insecurities and anxiety??? Would I speak at a friend's Quaker ceremony? Maybe but most likely not. So we have decided to look into other options and hand-craft every aspect of the event. I love that word - hand-craft - especially when I think about handcrafting something with my man.
I came across this reading on
Wedding Cabaret and it really touched me. I was so reminded of all the conversations of "us" and "someday" that we have had throughout our relationship. It fits us so perfectly and I would love for our friend and officiant to read it at some point.
"Union"
by Robert Fulghum
"You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will”- those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe”- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “ You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife "
And another I saw a moment ago on
Ordinary Things. A sweet reading from one our lovelies, perhaps?
From Everything is Illuminated
by Jonathan Safran Foer
“This was the world in which she grew and he aged. They made for themselves a sanctuary from Trachimbrod, a habitat completely unlike the rest of the world. No hateful words were ever spoken, and no hands raised. More than that, no angry words were ever spoken, and nothing was denied. But more than that, no unloving words were ever spoken, and everything was held up as another small piece of proof that it can be this way, it doesn't have to be that way; if there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it heavy walls, and we will furnish it with soft red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like a diamond falling to a jeweler's felt so that we should never hear it."
How have you hand-crafted your ceremony? What readings did you choose?
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